yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
