She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
