Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
