i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
