Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
