Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
