Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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