Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
