i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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