these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
