I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
