Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I could make wine with my vomit
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
