Sponge bath it is.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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