I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
