i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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