I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
