I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
