ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
