thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
