Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
