that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
