I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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