looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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