Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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