She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
