the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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