I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
ttyl tear gas
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
