Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
