I got chris browned last night
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
