Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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