i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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