What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
