My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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