So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
