Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
