No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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