i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
