...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
