I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
