just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
