jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
they're like a gay fantastic four
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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