so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Randomize
