I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
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