Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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