i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Drunk is not a location!
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