I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
