So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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