3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
