ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
