Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
